I can't really put into words all of the emotions. Leaving our home in Kilbride felt a little like leaving a piece of my heart. And the final days were so chaotic and stressful.. and filled with dreams of what is to come, beyond that beautiful home. I stood there in the empty house. I was the last one in there and I said outloud, through my uncontrollable tears, "I have loved you. I have loved you"

And that I did. I loved that home. I thought we would be there forever. And both Nik and I tried our hardest to quieten our dreams for a big farm. We tried to convince ourselves that this home on 2 acres was enough. But it just wasn't anymore. And it hit a point where the desire was simply too big to hush. We wanted a farm.. a big farm.

We have been here for 2 months now I don't know if it has flown by or felt like an eternity. Nor do I know if I have felt more happiness than overwhelm. It is all a bit of a blur. But something about it feels very right. The path makes sense and I have a sense of calm and confidence about what I am to do next.

This didn't come immediately. I'll never ever forget that monumental moment when I sat sobbing on the highest hilltop of our property. It was within the first week of living here. I felt homesick, excited beyond belief, overwhelmed to shit and so grateful for all that was now ours.. Amazed at the beauty and adventure before me. Those tears were the most confusing tears I have ever cried.

The weeks following that cry brought more overwhelm. This farm was left in a mess I can't describe. The time I had planned to pour into the beautiful details of the new August Tree Flower Farm, were instead spent cleaning and making room for us. Piles of compost, waste, old items from years ago made this transition difficult. It was so hard at times I wondered if I could keep going, but we did. Each day we roll out of bed and continue to tidy up this farm. We want to bring a light to this place.. and a respect we feel it is owed.

And so I have had to slow down on my exciting plans. Only so much can be accomplished in a day, a week or a month. But we are chipping away... one tiny space at a time. We are building out our field of flowers.. planting beautiful perennials, removing waste to let the earth breath. And bringing such beauty and goodness to this place. It is slowly evolving into a floral destination. A place I will be so very proud of.

One thing is for certain... I have grown in so many ways since we took this leap and moved to this farm. As a person, I had to let go of something so precious to me. A home I loved.. where I raised my children, learned to farm, found the most special of friendships and delighted in all the adventures with my Love. I have grown because I have had to let that go.

I've also grown as a mother. Guiding my children into this next chapter in their life. Trying to ease them into his complete newness.. wiping away both their tears and my own. To say this has been "difficult" is an understatement. But we are adjusting. And there are moments of pure bliss as we enjoy this place as a family.

One day soon this will all make complete sense. The farm will reflect our vision and we will welcome you here with proud hearts. I wish I could skip to this part now.. but this hard journey will make it even more worth while.